在生存模式中成长

Grew Up in Survival Mode

温特沃斯·米勒(Wentworth Miller)，生存再艰难，但请相信你并不孤单。美国影视演员，因主演风靡全球但《越狱》获称“米帅”。米勒常年被抑郁症困扰，甚至想过自杀。因反对俄罗斯恐同法律，米勒拒绝出席圣彼得堡市国际电影节，并公开宣布出柜。

翻译

I wasn't born in this country. I didn't grow up in any one particular religion. I have a mixed race background, and I'm gay.

我并不生于这个过度，也没有再特定的宗教环境下成长。我的种族背景复杂，而且我是个同性恋。

Like many of you here tonight, I grew up in what I would call survival mode.

就像今晚在座的大多数一样，我把我的成长成为生存模式。

When you are in survival mode, your focus is on getting through the day in one piece, and when you're in that mode at 5, at 10, at 15, there isn't a lot of space for words like "community", for words like "us" and "we".

当你进入生存模式，你的注意力会集中在怎样无损、不受伤害的度过每一天，当你进入这种模式5年、10年、15年，你的生活将没有余地留给“团体”、“大家”、“我们”这样的字眼。

There's only space for "I" and "me".

这里仅仅是“我”和“我自己”。

The first time I tried to kill my self, I was 15. I waited until my family went away for the weekend and I was alone in the house and I swallowed a bottle of pills.

我第一次尝试自杀是在我15岁那年。等到家人都出去过周末，只剩下我独自一人在家时，我吞下了一整瓶药丸。

I don't remember what happened over the next couple of days, but I'm pretty sure come Monday morning I was on the bus back to school, pretending everything was fine.

接下来几天发生的事情我都记不清了，但可以确定的是周一早晨，我又坐上了去学校的车，装作一切风平浪静。

And when someone asked me if that was a cry for help, I say no, because I told no one. You only cry for help if you believe there's help to cry for.

也有人问我那是否代表着求助，我的回答是否定的，因为我未曾对任何人提起过。你只有在相信会有人帮助你时，才会去恳求他人的援助之手。

This letter, in which I speak my truth, and integrate my small story into a much larger and more inportant one, is worth sending.

在这封信中，我吐露了实情，并将我渺小的故事整合成更大的故事，它值得被传播出去。

I thought, let me be to someone else what no one was to me. Let me send a message to that kid, maybe in America, maybe some place far overseas, maybe somewhere deep inside, a kid who's being targeted at home or at school or in the streets, that someone is watching and listening and caring.

我想做一些别人没有对我做过的事情，让我发一则消息给某个孩子，他或许身处美国，也许相隔远洋，也许就在内心深处，告诉他不论时在家里、学校、或者大街上，都有人在注视、聆听、关心着他。

That there is an "us", that there is a "we", and that kid or teenager or adult is loved, and they are not alone.

这就是所谓的“我们”，所谓的“大家”，而那个儿童，那个少年或是那个成人，他们都被深爱着，他们并非孤独一人。

生词统计

单词	音标	翻译
survival	sɚ'vaɪvl	n. 幸存、残存、幸存者
swallow	'swɑlo	n. 燕子、一次性吞咽的量； v. 吞下、咽下、忍受、吞没
pretend	prɪ'tɛnd	v. 假装、伪装； adj. 假装的
integrate	'ɪntɪɡret	n. 一体化、集成体； v. 使...完整、求。。。的积分、表示。。。的总和； adj. 整合的、完全的

原文

I wasn't born in this country. I didn't grow up in any one particular religion. I have a mixed race background, and I'm gay.

Like many of you here tonight, I grew up in what I would call suivival mode.

When you are in survival mode, you focus is on getting through the day in one piece, and when you're in that mode at 5, at 10, at 15, there isn't a lot of space for words like "community", for words like "us" and "we".

There's only space for "I" and "me".

The first time I tried to kill myself, I was 15, I waited until my family went away for the weekend and I was alone in the house and I swallowed a bottle of pills.

I dont't remember what happened over the next couple of days, but I'm pretty sure come Monday morning I was on the was back to school, pretending everything was fine.

And when someone asked me if that was a cry for help, I say no, because I told no one. You only cry for help if you believe there's help to cry for.

This letter, in which I speak my truth, and integrate my small story into a much larger and more important one, is worth sending.

I thought, let me be to someone else what no one wants to me. Let me send a message to that kid, maybe in America, maybe some place far overseas, maybe somewhere deep inside, a kid who's being targeted at hoem or at school or in the streets, that someone is watching and listening and caring.

That there is an "us", that there is a "we", and that kid or teenager or adult is loved, and they are not alone.